Monthly Archives: October 2012

Dealing with the Spirit of Suicide

Suicide is a sensitive subject. And whether we admit it or not, the best of us have been confronted with suicidal thoughts. This subject is extremely important and dear to me because I am a suicide survivor. This is not something that I speak about often, but something that occurred recently prompted me to speak on this.

As pastors we all have good days and not so good days. We all have times where we are pleasantly surprised and there are times where we are violently reminded of our humanity. My family has a history of depression and bipolar disorder. One thing that I have learned about generational curses, weakness and familiar spirits is that they are very patient. They will wait 30 years for you to be weak enough for them to take advantage of your vulnerability. They will wait you out until the perfect moment.

At my lowest point, in a place where it seemed as if I was in over my head with responsibility and need, the enemy spoke so clearly to me. He said “I can fix that, give me your soul.” I have been close to dying several times, but I have never felt death this close. These words were in my soul, and they were dark, cold.. evil. I immediately rebuked the voice. But heaviness seemed to gain a grudge against me. That night was the hardest night of my life. And for the first time since I was a kid.. I actually contemplated suicide.

I am not the only leader or pastor that has had suicidal thoughts run through my mind. There are those reading this, that would hate to admit it, but you have suicidal thoughts frequently. There are those reading this that have kids, relatives and friends that also have these thoughts. Are they normal? How do you deal with them? Does suicidal thoughts mean you are possessed or demonized? These are questions that fill our minds. I want to be clear and state that I will not deal with the question, “do victims of suicide go to Heaven or Hell?” I believe personally that it is complex. If someone is overcome with a devil, they are a victim, and I believe the Lord shows compassion, and so should we.

There are many people in the Bible that have suffered with suicidal thoughts and have even become victims of suicide.

People who committed Suicide:

Saul’s Armbearer (1 Samuel 31:5)

Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23)

Zimri (1 Kings 16:18)

Judas (Matthew 27;3-5)

Samson (Judges 16:30)

People who Attempted Suicide:

King Saul ( 1 Samuel 31:4)

Asked to be Killed:

Abimelech ( Judges 9:54)

Elijah (1 Kings 19:4)

Elijah is interesting to me because as anointed as he was, he wanted to die. There are times where we all feel like giving up, throwing in the towel and leaving our assignment prematurely. I want to offer a few guidelines on dealing with the spirit of suicide.

I want to be clear that suicide is a spirit. It is an influencing agent that troubles the mind with depression, paranoia and deception to the point of self destruction.

Depression is a soulish weight that enters in by a distorted view of ones own self worth. Low self esteem and not understanding ones assignment is the catalyst and beginning of depression. Depression is NOT curable by drugs. While it can be treated by psychologist and helped by counseling and support groups, we can not dismiss the technology of intercession and deliverance. Here are a few things that you can implement to begin and start the process of deliverance:

1. Master the art of filtering your thoughts– We must understand that the mind is an open battlefield, but you must treat it as private property. The enemy trespasses by giving thoughts that are against the will and purpose of God. Every thought that comes to your mind is not yours.

2 Cor. 10: 5– Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

It is our duty and responsibility to CAST DOWN (warfare) every imagination. The imagination is a realm in the soul which is responsible for our creative power. It is the platform for dreams, vision and special thoughts (another message). Imaginations are literally images from another nation. They can come from the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom of Darkness or from our own will. We must filter these thoughts, ideas and concepts through the word of God. How does this happen? We must have a regular intake of the word of God.

Psalm 119:130– The entrance of thy word giveth light..

The more word you have in you, the more light there is to reveal. When the light of the word resides in you, the enemy can not slip anything past customs. Every thought is clearly seen and visible.

Psalm 19:7– The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul..

The Word of God squeezes the soul into the image and likeness of God. Over time the word of God converts the soulish realm of man, making subject the will, the mind and the emotions. The word of God is central to protecting our mind against ungodly thoughts and emotions.

2. Make it a Habit to submit your thoughts– This is very hard to do. We are accountable with our actions, finances, and ministries, but seldom are we accountable with our thoughts. One of the reasons why we allow our mind to get away with so many things is because we have bought into the idea that just because we think it, doesn’t mean we are guilty. Jesus taught the exact opposite.

Matthew 5:28 KJV– But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

The mind is so powerful that to think a thing is the same as doing it, because the potential.. the seed it there. When you have a constant influx of demonic thoughts, submit them to your coverings, ministry fathers, and pillars of support for the purpose of accountability.

3. Develop a Prayer Life that is Autonomous– This can be hard, but with practice and consistency, it is the most powerful tool I have found to combat depression and suicidal thoughts. Prayer is a pillar of our faith. Sadly it is scarcely practiced, and elementary at best. Prayer is a weapon in the hands of the saint.

Jude 1:20 KJVBut ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost

There is much debate as to what this scripture is referring to. I believe it refers to praying in tongues, but regardless the connotation here is to pray with intensity, focus and accuracy. When we develop a consistent prayer life, one that is not dependent upon our emotions, but driven by a divine routine that has been developed within the womb of intercession. NEVER STOP PRAYING!!! Pray until it becomes subconscious. It becomes like breathing, it becomes powerfully autonomous.

4. Live Life on Purpose– We speak a lot about purpose, and to some degree it has become a mundane subject that we overlook. Some have even criticized people for teaching and preaching on the subject of purpose. I believe that the gospel can not be preached in its totality without including the purpose of people. We must teach people that everyone is here for a reason, and that no one is insignificant.

Ephesians 1:11 KJV– In whom also we have obtained an inheritance , being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

We were predestinated.. in other words our destination or destiny was predetermined according to God’s purpose. Without understanding this our life loses vitality, meaning and direction. We must offer this to the world that is void of identity and authenticity. We must offer this to a world that is paranoid with suicide and death.

You can overcome suicide. You do not have to become a victim of self destruction. Your life is worth living. I know, like you, that I am here for a reason. My life has purpose and destiny, and so does yours. Dealing with the spirit of suicide insures that generations down the line will benefit from our ministries, anointings, giftings and legacy.

Psalm 118:17 KJV– I shall not die , but live , and declare the works of the LORD.

Bryan Meadows




The Anointing is an interesting subject. The anointing in and of itself is a topic that we could spend years on and never exhaust, it’s that vast. The anointing is a mystery in the since that the totality of it scope is still misunderstood today. The anointing is a chemical compound. We all have a personality. There are as many personalities in the world as there are people. The anointing also has a personality, it is Jesus. Jesus is not just anointed, HE IS THE ANOINTING. When the anointing rest upon your life, it mixes with your personality and creates something unique and specific. This is why seeing carbon copies in the Body of Christ is disturbing and dangerous. God never creates a copy. When the anointing sits on you, a chemical reaction happens, and you become something different.

Anointings take on the personality of the people they are placed on. We then use names to characterize an anointing based on who the actions and dominant traits of that anointing reveal.. for example, we will say the Anointing of David, or Abraham.. the Anointing of Rebekah or Barak. When we see someone whose gifts and behavior aligns with a particular pattern, we say “They are walking is the Anointing of (fill in the blank)”.

Here is a concise list of anointings to give you an example:

We characterized anointings (MANTLES) by the individuals who carries them..

  1. The Anointing of Adam– Dominion
  2. The Anointing of Abraham– an anointing for GREAT FAITH and PROSPERITY
  3. The Anointing of Joseph– An anointing for DREAMs and VISIONS, an Anointing for Leadership Strategies and Investment
  4. The Anointing of David– an Anointing for War and Worship
  5. The Anointing of Samuel– the anointing of the seer and prophetic administration
  6. The Anointing of Issachar– the ability to discern times and seasons
  7. The Anointing of the 13 sons of Jacob
  8. The Anointing of the 11 apostles
  9. The Anointing of Samson– Invention and the Discovery of New technologies
  10. The Anointing of Perez– Breakthrough
  11. The Anointing of Solomon– Wisdom and Peace
  12. The Anointing of Jesus– Redemption and Restoration

As a person grows and their personality and patterns become more defined, they leave the shadow of that person and begin to develop something that is their own and unique.

I have learned that there is no way to have an anointing without first learning to steward someone else’s anointing. Stewarding what the Lord has placed on your life is a very important thing. How you steward any thing will determine it’s health, longevity and effectiveness. I want to deal with stewarding the anointing using an economic principle, supply and demand, and something I have learn through ministry and revelation.

God deals to all of us a measure.. (Romans 12:3) We have measures in everything, not just faith. We have measures of intelligence, measures of maturity, measures of gift and skill. All measures can be enlarged or increased according to Paul (2 Cor. 10:15). We all receive a measure of oil, but oil is not infinite. Oil must be stewarded properly. Oil can get old, oil can grow stale, and become unusable if it’s not fresh and sustained. The quality of oil is very important.

Follow this train of thought. Anointing is the currency of ministry. You spend it every time you preach. You spend it every time you lay hands. Every time the sick is healed, you’ve spent oil. Every time you cast out a demon, you’ve spent oil. This is why the disciples couldn’t cast out a certain devil (Matt. 17:16-21). They didn’t have enough money. They didn’t have enough in the bank. That was an expensive devil. Jesus said in order for you to cast this devil out, you must have a little more in the bank. You must increase your measure by fasting and prayer. That is one of the ways your anointing grows. But your anointing also gains interest when it is not TOUCHED. Holiness increases the rank and measure of your anointing.

Ways the Anointing is Spent:

  1. Ministry spends Anointing
  2. Faith spends Anointing (The faith in people, can pull anointing out of you, ex. woman with the issue of blood)
  3. Stress and Strife spends Anointing
  4. Mentorship and Fathering spends Anointing (Impartation spend the Anointing)
  5. Sin spends Anointing

One of the most expensive ways to spend the anointing is sin. Understand this: every assignment that a minister is given has a value of oil on it. To heal the sick may take 2 gallons of oil. (I am using human examples to make this understandable in the way God gave it to me) So say you begin with one gallon, but you spend 2 quarts fornicating. Now in order for you to get the job done, you have to repent, fast for 10 days and pray for 24 hours, just to generate enough oil to heal that woman from cancer. Sin creates a deficit that must be paid, and although Jesus paid for the world debt on the cross for our salvation, the anointing must be paid by our lives.

Ways to Increase the Anointing:

  1. Holiness
  2. Prayer and Fasting
  3. Worship and Prayer
  4. Consistent service in the House of the Lord (Tithing)
  5. Mentorship and Fathering (You must be submitted)
  6. Baptism, Communion, Feet Washing and other sacraments
  7. Giving into a Gift or Moment

I have heard it said that the anointing is free.. I disagree wholeheartedly. Any anointed person knows that the anointing cost. You may or may not know when it was paid for, or by who.. but if you are anointed, someone paid the price. They paid a price in prayer, in fasting, in integrity, and even some with their lives. Stewarding this precious cargo is for more than just preaching. The anointing is not just to gather and influence masses, but to make an impact and imprint in the sphere and sector you have been appointed. Your anointing is not for you. We must be diligent to make sure that our anointing stays up to date and relevant, that it stays pure and undefiled, that it remains potent and intentional, that it grows and purchases revival for every city.

Bryan Meadows